You know that annoying part of your Facebook timeline called “Pokes”? Yeah…the one that is supposed to imitate the adorable thing that happens when two people sit beside each other and jam their pointer fingers into each other’s skin. It’s rather amusing in real life. Especially when crochet hooks or straws are used instead of fingers.
But good grief. The folks who post pictures of “John Doe poked you 467 times in a row!” and then you realize that the guy had to sit there and tap his touchpad 467 times just to register a “poke”. Facepalm. I have several pokes in my folder right now–several from my best friend, a guy I can’t stand, and a complete stranger who had the audacity and wit to poke me with no conversation at all. I’m having one of those nights when it’s just like….”WHY???!!!”
Anyway, since you can poke people on Facebook…have you ever wanted to punch someone in the same way? I mean, we’re going past the devil-horned smiley emoticon or the annoyed death face or the crosseyed screaming one. Imagine having a notification. One little #1 and your globe is white instead of blue. You click on it. “Jane punched you 234 times!”
Just a thought.
I kindof wished I could do that tonight. You see, lately I’ve been spilling my guts alot to my friends. They’ve been amazing at giving advice, hugs, road trips, and even funny little emoticon wars when necessary. No fake ones or backstabbers. They didn’t walk away when things fell apart. I owe them so much.
But there’s one thing they keep saying that makes me wish Facebook had a punch option.
I’ll be moaning about being lonely and having bad dreams and missing my ex and crying and getting bored and wanting to go back where I used to work, and they’re like:
“It’s ok. You’ll find someone new. Someone alot better than him.”
In reality, I just calmly say something like, “haha 😛 Nah I just want to do school and work right now.” But my brain is screaming, “Silence or I promise I will strangle you…”
And that’s when I would hit the punch button. If there was one. I would hit it hard too.
I know they are trying to be nice and encouraging, but nothing makes the figurative fur stick up on my back more. It just ahhhhhhhhhh! It feels insulting, and makes me want to defend my ex, and then to slap myself in the face for doing that, and then I wonder what that person’s definition of “better” is, and then think that I’ll never find anyone like him, and then remember that I don’t want anything to do with love anyway….
Round and round and round the feels go…where they stop, nobody knows!
Friends, take this into consideration. Imagine if your friend’s pet died. Poodle, cocker spaniel, tortoise, hamster, bunny rabbit. Pick one. Would you go over, put your arm around your friend’s shaking shoulders, and say, “That’s ok! You can always get a better pet…”
If you would, you deserve that punch in the face.
Don’t say it. It’s not encouraging. When someone is grieving or broken-hearted, alot of times they aren’t looking for immediate replacement. They don’t even want to DREAM about replacing the thing that merited all their love and trust. It seems sick and trivial and demeaning. Sometimes they try to fill that emptiness with something similar, but I’ve heard enough stories to know that never turns out well. There’s something to be learned from being empty, and if you don’t stay empty long enough to learn it, chances are it will happen again.
Let the person learn. Or if it’s you and you’re all like “hey I feel the same way!” then learn your lesson. Don’t feel pressured by friends (or family) to go out and try something that you don’t want to open up to yet. I know, I know it hurts. Don’t feel the need to replace someone you cherished. There may be something better. Or there may not be. But as time passes and you grow, you will figure out which it is.
Until then, ignore the whole you’ll-find-somebody-better-what-about-him-or-her-or-what-about-me-just-relax-it-was-only-a-first-love-you’ll-be-married-someday-and-you’ll-never-regret-it-and-you’ll-be-so-happy-with-someone-else speech. They mean well. Treat them like they mean well. You may not care about the whole thing, but be kind. Or try to be.
If not…there’s always the imaginary punch button 😉
Punching Someone Over Facebook