It’s been a bit, huh? About eleven days. You may have thought that I dropped off the face of the earth or that I stopped clicking away on the keyboard or you may not have given it a second thought.
At any rate, the reason why I haven’t been writing much is that I’m so busy…
School started last week. For those of you who don’t know, I’m a sophomore attending a community college in my hometown. At this rate, I should graduate next May. Right now, it works out nicely because I can fit all my classes into two days of the week, leaving the rest of the mornings open for work.
Oh, and about that. I’m on my third week working in this cute, homey breakfast cafe that serves the best bagels around. 🙂 I really, really like it. The hours are longer than what I am used to, but I feel like I have finally found my niche in the workforce again.
Oh yeah, I also work for my community college in exchange for tuition and books. I praise God for this opportunity because it is legitimately the only reason I am going to school this fall and spring. It’s exciting to walk people through the complicated application, financial aid, and orientation process, because let’s face it–when you first start at college, you have no idea what anything is about or where anything is. I can remember those days, and now it’s awesome to help other people just like me to find their happy place there.
I’ve also met alot of awesome people through working at the college…and even just attending there, and already have had some fantastic experiences with them. Thanks to my good ole pals, last Sunday I also got to visit the city that I hope to live in. Went to see one of my best friends there, went to the beach, toured the campus, chilled in the dorm. I loved it!
But anyway, I’m busy ya’ll.
In other words…
It’s been almost 4 months…
Something is different….radically, strangely different.
I still struggle alot…with sin in every possible imaginable way. With depression. With loneliness. With fear.
But something is different. I can feel it. I can taste it in the air every morning.
I can get up in front of people now, in my communications class, and give speeches. A year ago, I would have shot myself before I did that. I can talk to people in the hallways, and in classes, and do group work now. Last year, I was much to shy. I enjoy my classes now, and my work…instead of just suffering through them. I can enjoy my relationships with family and friends again instead of just tolerating them.
I can see how blessed I am…in ways I never even imagined before…how the things I took so for granted before–family, friends, health, church, jobs, experiences–are priceless gifts that can’t be traded for anything. I can see that the people who I thought despised me actually have loved me, even if it wasn’t in the way I preferred, and I thank them for that. I have more confidence…more hope…and not just for this life…because it could be over in the blink of an eye, with the snap of a finger.
But there is hope…in Christ…
“I remember my affliction and my wandering,
the bitterness and the gall.
I well remember them,
and my soul is downcast within me.
Yet this I call to mind
and therefore I have hope:
Because of the Lord’s great love we are not consumed,
for his compassions never fail.
They are new every morning;
great is your faithfulness.
I say to myself, “The Lord is my portion;
therefore I will wait for him.”
The Lord is good to those whose hope is in him,
to the one who seeks him;
it is good to wait quietly
for the salvation of the Lord.” (Lamentations 3:19-26)
The things that have happened in the past couple months have shown me that there can be very dark tunnels to pass through, both in the tragedies of life and in the everyday struggles. There are also immense joys that exist amidst the pains. But in both of these, in the good and the bad, God can be found. As a Savior, a Comforter, a Giver of Good Gifts, a Father.
There is hope….readers…there is hope for you…just as there is hope for me.
Anyway…how’s the weather in your area? Have you had a pumpkin spice latte yet? I went to Starbucks the other day and asked for one, and the server told me they weren’t coming out until September 1st. My brother and mom come home 30 minutes later with pumpkin spice lattes–bought from the same Starbucks, same server. Now what up with that??
I hope ya’ll are enjoying the beginning to your fall. Back to school…back to work if you’re a teacher…the windy, brisk morning and evenings…long walks…coffee…the best time of the year!
Have a great evening!