I guess, because I’m here, I should let you know that I can hear the whisperings of your mind as clearly as she can. I may be less dramatic, more realistic, more down-to-earth, but you also have the assurance that I won’t talk about caressing you in your sleep.
So say we have a chat?
She says your greatest fear is that you do not know what you want. Basically that you are a wanderer, trespassing from one dream to the next in search of undying satisfaction and purpose. But across the sands you roam, only to look forward and see nothing before you, and to look behind and see the desert winds slowly wiping your footprints away. The past is gone but it is not dead, the present is fleeting, and the future is unpredictable. You fear that you will reach the end and have nothing, because you were never strong enough to fight for anything.
Am I correct? I thought so….
Let me remind you that the darkness preys upon your deepest desires and turns them into fears, takes your deepest dreams and turns them into nightmares. Just as I can make a cold cell glimmer with light, she can take a starlit night and haze it over with gray darkness.
So if not knowing what you want is your greatest fear, it must be connected to your greatest desire. To want something. To have something solid, purposeful. To love something. To fight for something. To give it all for something. To win in the end because of the struggle to get that thing.
You thought that thing was love. You thought it was a career. Or family or friends. But now you are left standing with empty hands in the desert with a heart full of that desire…desire to want something, and to know what is really worth it.
You are not alone. Hidden by the sandstorms are other travelers with you, asking the questions that call to deepest parts of our nature. How? When? Where? and most importantly why?
If you want to find something that is worth having, worth holding, worth desiring with everything in you, and worth fighting for, I suggest you stop gazing at the sand and raise your eyes upward. There, out in the unknown and undiscovered, is your greatest longing– in the world that lies behind the curtain between death and life, in the One who made you to want something more than you can find in this world. You are not home yet. That uncertain feeling that can find nothing it wants on this earth exists because it was made to be satisfied by something more. Something greater than possessions or accomplishments or romance or even people.
And maybe, if you search for that Place, and the Person that lie beyond our complete comprehension….maybe you will find something that is worth wanting more than anything else.