Love and Other Poisons


“You make love…and marriage…sound like a bad thing.”
I was standing in the parking lot after my statistics class a few months ago when my friend made that statement. It caught me like a slap in the face. “Yeah, I guess I do.”
Since my failed relationship, I have viewed romantic love as cancer. A person can be healthy, and within the course of a few months, the disease can leave them withered. Not only does cancer ravage the lives of the patient, but it breaks the hearts of family, friends, and neighbors. It destroys, it brings pain, and it ultimately steals life.
That is how I have viewed love. A disease that I had once and never want to have again.
That has changed some in the past months. Now I would say that I would like to have another relationship someday. However, the process of learning to love again is long. And I am sick of the world’s way of doing it. I am sick of how I did it. I am sick of the facebook posts, the drama, the victim mentality, the obsessions, the scars, the “follow your heart” encouragements, the definition of love itself. 
Love is so much more than what I believed it to be. I have seen it in other people. I have experienced it through my family and through God. I am reading through the Psalms right now and every chapter is full of phrases like “steadfast love” and “unfailing love.” God is concerned about this love–this powerful force that is more than a social media catchphrase. I am also reading a book called Because He Loves Me, which encourages Christians to not just believe the gospel, but to see how God’s love affects every moment of every day…how it changes our lives and perspectives and hearts.
God put so much emphasis on love, so much instruction toward how we are to live in it, and the gospel itself is love at its utmost. I am living because of love and I will live forever because of love. 
I want to know what that kind of love means. I want to know how it relates to those around me. I want to know what it means for romantic relationships.
And I’m tired of believing the lies.

Because of this, I have decided to practice writing short stories and also experiment with ideas about love in literature. I have one, hopefully appearing tomorrow, that is a mash-up of “A Poison Tree” by William Blake and Faust by Goethe. Following that is a combination of Cinderella and “The Diary of a Madman.” I’m excited. 🙂
I am also considering posting an interview that I did for my World Literature class about love.It really influenced my viewpoints and helped define what has changed in my opinion of love. Maybe I will, maybe not. We shall see.
Any and all feedback on anything I write or say would be appreciated. ❤

The poem that inspired one of the stories I have been penning, if you haven’t read it previously:

“A Poison Tree”
By William Blake

I was angry with my friend;
I told my wrath, my wrath did end.
I was angry with my foe:
I told it not, my wrath did grow.

And I waterd it in fears,
Night & morning with my tears:
And I sunned it with smiles,
And with soft deceitful wiles.

And it grew both day and night.
Till it bore an apple bright.
And my foe beheld it shine,
And he knew that it was mine.

And into my garden stole,
When the night had veild the pole;
In the morning glad I see;
My foe outstretched beneath the tree.



  1. Have you ever read the four loves, by C.S. Lewis. I think that would be a great (and mature) book to read when it comes to matter of love and the heart. The ancient Greeks had these four different words for our one word love. Check it out. I have done a number of posts also on the issue of love, following these Greek words.
    Coming from my own experience, love in the modern context (being ‘in love’) is a feeling that lasts for maybe two years, if you’re lucky. It’s kind of what lights the flame that draws, or attracts the moth. However, this type of love is not the stick-it-through and familial type of love that endures for a lifetime. I’ve had one to many bad experiences myself, but when I became a Christian, I knew that for me, entering into a relationship with a guy meant entering into a relationship with someone I could truly see myself marrying. And when I made my decision to marry the man I married, I did it by reason and not just emotion.
    I hope this helps a bit. I guess I can get a lot more philosophical about this and all, but I think I’ll end up writing a book here if I do. (smiles)
    Bless you.

    • Thank you so much 🙂 CS Lewis is one of my favorite authors, but I have never read the Four Loves, although I have wanted to. I guess I am discovering that love is a combination of reason and emotion, because I have tried to do it with just one or the other and both times it has not gone well. You are perfectly welcome to write a book about the subject and I would like to read it! 🙂

      • Hahahaha @ writing the book. And yes, you hit the nail on the head. It is a combination of both – Reason and emotion.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s